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September 2006 No More MSN SpaceYeah guys i thinki might just ditch the whole msn space for a while and see how the whole myspace picks up :)
here's the link clicky August 2006 I fought with myself *&* Met a stranger Accidents & AccusAtions
messAges & misperceptions
pArAlyze my mind. I come to find refuge in the eAsy silence.
One room, two single beds.In the closet hAngs your fAvourite dress.
The books thAt you reAd Are in scAttered piles of pAper shreds.
 But try to understAnd
I get sAtisfAction out of everything I cAn
The losers And the winners, the lAughter And the teArs
The noises of the dAy to dAy is music to my eArs
DrAnk with the Irish And smoked with the hippies And moved with the shAkers.
But I wouldn't kiss All the Asses they told me to.
August 2006 Frown & Smile }) That goes out to you bagnal * && Em and Bec*On the 23rd of january BAGNAL ran out to
Booral
*&& for those of you that don't know here booral is, it's out in the sticks in a faraway land*
She ran out to Booral to visit Carrie. One of which is her friend, well she once kinda hated her but now are
*quote* Toight as toigers *un-quote*
Yes well on her jog out to Booral Bagnal came across Emma, another one that she is defo 'toight as toigers' with.
And yes so they continue jogging and riding with each other, but them Emma stops.
Bagnal turns around to see what happened to Emma and she realises that Emma's munged slipper with the foam hanging out the bottom has gotten stuck in the chains. And there's blood everywhere.
And i know you must be thinking, how can foam from a slipper bleed??
All i have to say is use your bloddy imagination's and then the foam will bleed.
So with the bleeding foam bleeding everywhere bagnal rings a paper ambulance of her phone that has pictures on it but doesn't have a camera.
The paper hcomes flying from no where, then the saw dust comes
out of the exhaust pipe mufler thing to soak up all the blood.
And then out of no mans land, Comes bec on Bagnal's mower that Carrie is going to buy for Bagnal for her b'day. So Bec picks up Bagnal & Em on the mower with the furry seat and the trailer with the orange flag. And they all drive to see carrie in Booral on her birthday.
But as all this is happening Carrie sits at home waiting for someone to love her on her birthday, because her birthday is on a saturday and anyone that knows carrie's family knows that she has 5 brothers, and her family had forgotten about her birthday and went to soccer exsept for steven. He left a note on her door, it said "Carrie your so beautiful" (eww steven your my step brother)
Then Ben comes down the drive way on his Uncle motobike with a tredley mill and a supper man suit attatched to the back. He had bought her what she wanted.
He saidp
and carrie said aw i bet you do cause if u don't i will kick you in the head with my calf muscles. But as Carrie was about to knock Ben unconcious Bagnal Bec & Em frolicked down the driveway on the mower.
But then as Emma was getting off the mower, he bleeding slipper was bleeding everywhere and carrie's one eyed dog that is only vicious towards emma bit her.
Then Emma died from bleeding to death, Bec stole the mower that had the trailer, furry seat cover and orange flag. Bagnal ran allthe way back to toogem to her little chiwowa dog. Ben well he left cause he had to work, play cricket or footy or a random game of basketball and Carrie then frowned and smilled. and said
THE END!!A
August 2006 (RosE) [ColoureD] {GlasseS} 5 weeks; is just 5 weeks to some
35 days to others
1 Month & 1 week to the rest
&& 840 hours for me
840 hours of suspense
840 hours of worry
840 hours of thoughts
840 hours of hoping
840 hours of wishing you were here
840 hours of hoping that you'll make it home
840 hours of thinking that i may never see you again
840 hours of regreting what i wrote in that letter
840 hours of hope that you might make it off that hospital bed & come home to see me.
But then again after these 840 hours of hope, it could all become shattered.
840 hours of hoping to see you might turn into a lifetime without you
      August 2006 I'll-Hang-This-Dream-Up-On-D i s p l a yTill THEN & there, the wind in your hair
Nothing in the WORLD could keep me from staring at y o u
 I'm a PAWN in your g a m e
&& this is checkmate
 Have you been rendered breathless?
Will you f a l l or will you FOLLOW
&& invade my runaway world?
 I was caught in an awkward s i l e n c e
Broken down by the sound of your prelude
that you played to open our symphony
 You could get l o s t in a night like this
So empty your THOUGHTS
&& open your heart to the bliss July 2006 You.&&.I.In.The.Sweet.UnknownYou're the latest disease &&ever s_o c o n t a g i o u s
TheArtOfLoosingMyselfIsMyLatestMasterpiece..
 I'll sit here tonight, singing lyrical verses of what you mean to m e.
Lyrical verses of which you'll never h_e_a_r
 AndAsIListenToEveryLoveSong
ISit&&RealiseHowMuchIMissYou;
HowMuchINeedToBeWithYouRightNow.
To be with you; it's my e_c_s_t_a_c_y
To hear your voice: it's my panadol
To feel your breath on my neck; it's my red cordial
You get me on a h i g h
You can ease my pain
You excite me
You remind me that what we have is r_e_a_l.
I'M ALIVE &&LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT
Compliments Of MOI.. If you take, pleae link July 2006 Casualty*Katie was a little girl who said
"I'll find a way"
Katie was a little girl who said
"It'll be okay"
Then one day She found, a little bit of something She used to drown.
Will you turn a blind eye to all the faces that you know?
She said
"Go"
 Katie was a little girl, who never found her way.
Katie was a little girl, who never was okay.
She said
"I'm alive and I am free. But you see I have no control over me" July 2006 Eyes. Wide. Shut - -She is an artist, a painter actually.
See that smile on her face?
Well that's her most famous piece.
Lots of girls show off their beauty to be known for it. But other's hide it, so he'll look for something more July 2006 CLOUD 9it is 12:07 AM
tomorrow i have school
but do you think i can sleep
NO
not at all
are you curious as to why yet
i bet you are
i am contemplating posting it on my blog
i will not mention names
but merely state how one person can make anothers world so perfect
I don't know you yet
But I was given a glimpes tonight
And tonight is just the begining
Just the tip of the iceburg
From the first day i saw you
I knew something was different
And however long it took us to talk, that doesn't matter
But the fact that we are getting to know each other
You wanting to know me
You genuinely wanting to know
I look at you and you have this glow
You have something about you not because you share the same beliefs as I
But because you are so pure, so genuine
I have spent one night with you
And i know that something will happen
Whether it is the begining of a great friendship
Or an even better relationship
I don't know just yet
But i know that i have never met anyone quite like you
You make me feel different
You even made me nervous
You like me for the right reasons
Everything is falling into place.
Our path's have crossed for a reason.
We both have something to learn from each other
and tonight i will pray and thank God that we have met and know that He will make things different for both of us for the future.
thank you for one of the best nights. and i'm looking forward to many, many more July 2006 We'll never make another m e m o r y..Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours. In ten months you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark, And I still have these memories, But we'll never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember. cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory. I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real. You said they were. What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm sorry that wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, But I guess I've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? June 2006 xx__Love me like [YOU] do.. want a boy who will stay with me for always. He'll know you can never say I love you too many times. But he knows not to say it if he doesn't mean it with all his heart. He'll tell me that he is nothing without me, and actually mean it. He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt. He'll make me a Build-A-Bear. And he won't care about how silly he looks being in a store full of 2nd graders because he knows it would be special to me. He'll stay home with me and watch The Notebook. And he'll tell me he loved it even though he didn't and the only person he would ever watch it with would be me. He'll call me at 3 am and ask me what I'm doing. He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me and he needed to hear my voice. He can't walk next to me without holding my hand. And he always whispers something sweet in my ear. He'll take me to a concert to see his favorite band. And he won't get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends. When I cry he'll tell me I'm too beautiful to and he'll kiss every tear. He'll always make me feel better because he knows the perfect things to say to me. All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them. When we're walking together he'll stop and pick up a flower and put it behind my ear. He'll tell me I'm a princess. And treat me like one too. He'll love everything about me and tell me that I'm perfect. We always end up laughing about silly fights. We won't get mad for making fun of each other because we crack up at every bit of it. Even if we're a million years old, butterflies will still go crazy inside of me every time he kisses me. He'll tell me he'd die without me. He'll surprise me by bringing me over my favorite food when I'm having a bad day. When we go out for ice cream, he'll put some on my nose then I'll put some all over his face. And we just never stop laughing. He's interested in everything I say and he always cares about it. He'll buy me jewelry and bouncy balls from vending machines. He won't stop playing until he's won me a stuffed animal. He'll take walks with me in the rain and we'll catch raindrops on our tongues. He doesn't even like rain, but I love it. Every time I even hear his name, it takes my breath away. And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love all over again. He'll pay for me all the time even though I never want him to but I can never win. But with him I could never lose either. Because everything about him is just so wonderful, perfect. I'll be his everything. And he'll be even more to me. He will love me with all of his heart.
♥-x-♥ June 2006 Amen Omen, help me find the strength within..Mother's Watch...
I sit beside you, Mum goodluck tomorrow I am hoping and praying that you will make it through just fine. I know you did last time but the main thing I am worried about is if your body can withstand it all again. I will be thinking of you at 1pm when you go into the opperating theartre. I may not be able to be with you physically but I will be with you in your heart, as you get put under the anisthetic I want you to remember that not only have you got to get through this opperation not only for yourself but for me, for us kids. I love you so much mum, I do believe that you will make it through. I am just praying that you make it through with not long term difficulties/impairments. x.o.x God Bless You x.o.x June 2006 &&.maybe, just maybe I'd like to fall in love..I adore you
More Than You'll Ever Know
©©©©©©©
They'll look at each other,
exchanging glances,
but not talk to one another
because they're afraid of taking chances
♡♡♡♡ I know you don't do it purposely-
but you give my butterflies
©©©©©©©
&&. you're a little bit more than amazing
June 2006 ItoldYOUsecretsTHATno-oneELSEknew&lookATusNOWi'mINaMESSbecauseOFyouI searched the sky for something that I can't see. What lies beyond the naked eye, captivates me. The truth is there, there's no denying. It lies beyond the reealms of where we live.
I've tried to burning you picture and throw away your lies. But all i end up doing is burning my hands and digging through the trash
ѕσ тнєяє'ѕ тнιѕ gιяℓ & ѕнє'ѕ fαℓℓєи fσя тнιѕ вσу σи¢є αgαιи. нє ∂σєѕи'т киσω ιт & ѕнє ∂σєѕи'т ωαит тσ ѕнσω ιт вє¢αυѕє ѕнє'ѕ иσт ωιℓℓιиg тσ gєт нυят αgαιи
тнє тωσ нαя∂єѕт тнιиgѕ тσ ѕαу: нєℓℓσ fσя тнє fιяѕт тιмє && gσσ∂вує fσя тнє ℓαѕт
I'll do whatever it takes just so I can see you again. I'd go to hell and back just so you can breathe again
I'll save myself for you and the memories. The memories of what life was. June 2006 Eyes cannot hide, What you lips won't say I believe your word has set me free. With all i am I will live my life for you
I only think about you on two occasions
Day./&/.Night
it's him && it's love..
And if i could have one last dance with you.I'd play a song that would last forever..
Love is when you shed a tear & still want him, it's when he ignores you & you still love him, it's when he loves another girl but you just smile & say 'I'm happy for you', when all you really do is cry.. &&. you're the one who's got me drawing hearts all over my notebook
.the worst feeling isn't being lonely-it's being forgotten by the one you know that you could never forget. Just the sound of his voice. Just him being on the other end of the line, just knowing while they talk she is the only thing on his mind. Just the thought of him. Just him. Just the thought of him keeps her going. Just the faint picture she can make of him in her head makes her smile, even on the saddest of days when the sky cries with her, she is not alone. Just his smile makes her happy. Just him. But the fact that everytime he says goodbye he calls his girlfriend. The one that makes him smile. The one that he loves. The one who doesn't lone him. The one that will never love him as much as her. The one thaat will never love him as much and me...
Here i stand crying out to you, all I need is faith to see a miracle in me May 2006 .This. .Is. .A. .44. .Caliber. .Love. .Letter. .Straight. .From. .The. .Heart.Take my hand, we'll make it.. i swear
So i'll hold my breath until my heart explodes
You & Me [we could make the world jealous]
Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze..
I will learn to love again.. one day
Let's face it; Juliet was a whore and Romeo well he was desperate, but they still made the best love story
you came into my life, i know i've never felt so good cause everythings changed, everything different
..i now bow down in awe of your glory..
May 2006 ..& i have come to love you, like you have loved me Show me your way
Show me your heart
Show me your glory
..I stand before you, knees bent, arms out streched..
I need You in my life
I'm never letting go Of all the things You've said I'm holding on 'cause You promised me that You'd never leave You're always by my side You'll never let me go So I'm holding on 'cause I know that I need You
You're all that I need Everyday it’s hard to believe May 2006 Just a Little Devotional It's times like these, where silence means everything. And no one is to know about this.
It's my fist vs. the bottle and i thank god you weren't there
Let me tell you all about it "IT'S JUST NOT WORKING OUT"
This is why we were taught so much better than this. This is what living like this does
Show me how you do that trick. The one that makes me scream she said. The one that makes me laugh she said. & threw her arms around my neck. Show me how you do it. & I promise you, i promise that I'll run away with you.
Well I pictured you in blue, but i'm partial to the red. Deep, dark, devestating. Leaving no question as to where you've been.
get the flyers up, have you seen the girl with her heart on her sweater
Spend the night listening to miles davis
You said it makes you want to fall in love
or be smart enough to keep the distance
Well which one would you prefer. My finger on the trigger or me face down, down across your floor.
You're such a sucker for a sweet talker
I will never ask. if you don't ever tell me. I know you well enoguh to know you never loved me
Why can't i feel anything from anyone other than you? I stay wrecked and jealous for this for this simple reason I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life.
So, we're talking forever and you almost feel better but better's no excuse for tonight you see, it's never bad enough to just leave or give up but, it's never good enough to feel right
The weight of my desicions were impossible to hold but they were never yours. May 2006 Pathway to Peace.. a poem i wrote inspired by a song called Monkey Minds by The Bliss MongersWe have been captured within this world of monkey minds. A world where critics, poisons, and cold bitter comment are being made all to frequently. We need to release these monkey minds, the chatter is ever so intense. Let the infinite of words escape in just one breath. We need to seek the source, the divine one that is above all names. Then if he can speak your tongue, what would he say? Take the words and fight through this world of monkey minds. Ignore the chatter of others & remember the divine one did say. "Setting free the monkey, the constant chatter of the mind & move beyond into the stillness. Into infinite space & the power of the now" April 2006 some pretty words that speak the words of a broken heart </3..[x] i love you  A boy and a girl,
the best of friends. From elementary to high school from beginning to end. Through all those years their friendship grew. They both felt the same, but neither knew. Each waking moment since the day they met. They both loved each other sunrise to sunset. He was all she had in her terrible life. He was the one who kept her from her knife. She was his angel, she made him smile. Though life threw him curves, she made it all worth while. Then one day things went terribly wrong. The next few weeks were like a very sad song. He made her jealous on purpose he tried. When the girl asked, "Do you love her?" on purpose he lied. He played with jealousy like it was a game. Little did he know Things would never be the same. His plan was working but he had no clue. How wrong things would go, the damage he would do. One night she broke down, feeling very alone. Just her and the blade, no one else home. She dialed his number, he answered, "Hello" She told him she loved him and hung up the phone. He raced to her house just a minute too late. Found her lying in blood, her heart had no rate. Beside her was a note, in it her confession. Her love for this boy, her only obsession. As he read the note, he knelt down and cried. Grabbed her knife, that night they both died. She was found in his arms, both of them dead. Under her note his handwriting said: "I loved her so, she never knew. All this time I loved her too That was sent to me in a email from Mel.. Love it hun Check out her space
If I never met you,would i ever have to cry.Seems like everyday.I sit here and wish to die.Everytime I see you with her...I die a little more.It hurt even more whenyou told me that you missed me,loved me...that your heart was mine.But if i never met you. would i still cry at night.and would the stars still shine at night?A dream of a day. When we could be together again.And i could be happy.But this will never happen.If i never met you,i might be happier.And if i never met you,i wouldn't be heartbroken i wish i never met you.yet i do.i love you,but you threw me away.love is not a game...if i never met you...would i still be the same? Am I mad? That’s your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? For breaking my heart? Or taking my innocence away? All the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you and only you, only to betrayed? How about the fact that you didn't have decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I am crying over it, because you think breaking up is not a big deal? Am I mad? NO! I'm more like crushed …
//_ask me why I keep on xx.loving.xx when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for -|[me]|- The [problem] is that as much as I can't [force] you to love me, I can't force //_myself_\\ to stop loving you
Everything is [fucked up] straight from the heart. Tell me what to, when it all falls apart. Gotta pick myself up, where do i start?? Coz i cant turn to you, [[when it all falls apart]]
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